Finally getting it…

I have finally figured out how to publish… I I spent an hour yesterday typing a post but was unsuccessful posting it, so here goes, again.

My personality type was getting the better of me. Of course I chose one of the toughest students to try to type. I did not spend enough time with him and felt overwhelmed with the vocabulary. I was over thinking everything. I had bitten off more than I could possibly handle and struggled stubbornly. IAs I was in the shower, I thought about how I would help a student who might be struggling with a new concept. Then it dawned on me that I would break it down into more digestible portions. I now know I need to choose a different student, which I finally did.

I think this student is ESFJ. I believe he is E due to his activity level. He needs to be standing and frequently blurts out before others can have time to think things through. He is a capable learner. During group activities he is usually done with his part before his other group members are so he wanders to other groups, play sword fighting or any other physical movement, disrupting that group. He is constantly being reminded by the teacher to “get back to his group”.

He shows S traits preferring factual accounts. He responds well when directions are concrete. He lives very much in the present.

I believe he is an F as he weighs how people might be ‘against’ him when there is a disagreement. He is quick to become emotional and may even run away from a situation that has become too much for him to handle.

And lastly, I believe he is J because he is goal oriented when the subject matter interests him. He will take over a group, get it organized and plan whatever it takes to complete the assignment.

After I focused on this child for two classes, I could see the difference in my approach. I was more willing to give him credit for knowing the material even when he showed frustration by acting out. I was able to ask him what it was he needed to get the assignment completed and got a very good answer from him rather than focus on the misbehavior and head down a difficult path. All he needed was a different kind of lined paper rather than the grid paper the teacher was providing. He did not like the grid. It bothered him so I gave him some yellow lined paper and turned it sideways. as we were doing long division, to help him line up the columns. He was a dream to work with and even had the patience to wait for me to check his work until I finished helping another student. I thanked him for being patient and he smiled a genuine smile.

I like the good days!

7 responses to “Finally getting it…

  1. p.s. this took me two days to publish…Beth recommended to write it in Word first then copy/paste…glad I did! Copied/pasted many times “}

  2. Ellen, your evidence definitely sounds right on for this child’s type. Keep looking at it through that lens, and you might be able to help him in more ways than you could ever predict! I love that you asked him “what more he needed” rather than focusing on the misbehavior! Often when kids act out, it’s because of frustration with content/assignments rather than an unwillingness to comply, and it sounds like your approach was rewarded — hooray for that!

    Regarding the first student you tried with, I wonder if he is a kid with whom you have great difficulty. If that’s the case, imagine that it’s possible that his type might be your complete opposite and look for evidence of those traits. It might give you a starting place, rather than not having any idea of where to begin.

    I hope you are feeling more confident now — it seems to me that you’re really getting it!

    • Today I was able to defuse a possible explosive situation in the lunchroom between my student and another student in line. I think he in beginning to trust in me and my genuine interest/concern for him and was able to back off a ‘cutting in line’ issue he had been accused of. I told him I did not see what happened but that the ‘gentlemanly’ thing to do would be to let the lady/girl go ahead of him. He did it but went to the table. I asked him about what he was going to eat and told him it would not be fair to him if he did not get lunch. Then I offered to help him get back in line or he might like to wait until the line got smaller. He waited for the line to get smaller but made sure to let me know he got his lunch. Another good day!

  3. That was great with your ESFJ!

    It is that shift in thinking that gives one a sudden glimpse into a child’s life, and your whole attitude toward a kid can change. I love that feeling, but it is hard to keep thinking ahead when confronted with difficult behaviors.

    I have been working on my opposite child, and I truly am beginning to see glimmers of hope. With careful observation, I realize that he likes to help. We have been passing around a necklace given to a child who demonstrates caring in class. He wants that necklace. He also is listening to my lessons, and enjoys when I read aloud. He is willing to remain with me to complete work, although he needs to negotiate the terms. What I also realized is that he hates to be sent away from the group and needs to talk to learn. His sensing self actually is comforted working near me.

    For my sake, I feel kinder and energized to do more with the personality types.

  4. I think you are making headway with your guy. He seems more comfortable at recess and lunch! I am trying to reinforce your efforts there. One day at a time “}

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